Marriage After Children

marraige

 

 

 

 

Hows Marriage going ?

Let’s face it, things have changed.  A beautiful new life has entered your world and your learning how to nuture and take care of him or her the best way you can.

The quality of your marriage could be at a tiresome stage? ie no time to even think about making an effort … or even lack of energy. The fact that your wives body has completely changed after birth or not at all. There are so many factors that can influence the changes. Did you have a c- section (me two times) or a natural birth with a few changes afterwards. Or your marriage can be stronger, better and you see an amazing side of your husband or wife that you have been longing for . Watching him or her care after a young child and become a parent is an amazing concept.

Lets put this all in perspective along with all this tiredness and no ‘me’ time. Think how lucky you were to conceive in the first place and grateful you are that you and your partner and child are healthly. I know not all my readers here will have this. Some of you may have had difficulty in concieving and the thought of going through it again but longing for another one seems tiring. Or you maybe have adopted or had IVF and it was very hard also with the processes involved. The point of this is you have a child or children, but the relationship as a married couple has somewhat deteriorated in the bedroom or general communication . Have you ever thought of in a natural way ? we have sex to reproduce and you have. Marriage to me is about being a team and sticking together throughout anything and if there is something wrong in the marriage, you talk and talk about it . If you have to grab a marriage counseller then do. There is nothing wrong with someone else stepping in and seeing what is going wrong and right, It is a step forward and very healthy.

I think it is important to go out together as a couple in the evening at least once a month to have that alone adult time together. It is also a good idea that you and your partner get involved in a class/hobby somehow if time permits on a regular basis for general well being.

I also think you should always discuss the way in which you would like to “parent” your child together. You must stick to the same rules and not soften up…. keep on the same page this is important as the child will grasp that this is what mummy and daddy do and they have to obey and understand. I have noticed my child listens more if we talk out loud to each other about what the consequences are if he does something wrong again.

Marriage in general always needs to be maintained. I think that if you are mature enough to have and be responsible for a child, you are ready for usual everyday changing marriage concepts. We all have separate expectations of our partners and sometime they are not fulfilled – but again this is when they need to be discussed and resolved, avoiding a build up and explosion of things. So maintaining a marriage is fulfilling those concepts and living through parenthood together through love, affection and understanding each other.

 

I hope that this helps! please feel free to get in touch – I have a Skype chat option if so (refer to other pages)

 

Tanya x

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